The Blue & Gold

Halloween Candy: Do’s and Don’ts

Matthew Welsh

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The Elite:

Kit Kat

Not only does this candy headline the top of this list, but it is by far the best candy money can buy. A perfect balance between rich and flaky, a Kit Kat is the simple answer to any sweet craving, and comes with a satisfying “pop” when separating bars. If you’re feeling really generous buy a couple king-sized bars, but make sure to keep some for yourself.

 

Hershey Bars

A classic, a staple, yet still addictive. Hershey bars have been around for over a century, and their mainstay is a testament to quality and scrumptiousness. With a melt-in-your-mouth nature that only Milton Hershey himself could create, this candy will leave every eager trick or treater satisfied.

 

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

Want to be “the house?” Then stock up on these, and lots of them. Reese’s perfects the combination of creamy milk chocolate and thick peanut butter like only a peanut butter cup can. Fantastic frozen, these treats make for a great post-loot snack, and will surely have kids raving. The only problem: not eating them yourself.

 

Objectively “Okay”

Snickers

You know what they say: Snickers satisfies. That perfectly captures this combination of chocolate, peanuts, and caramel. No doubt a tasty pick-me-up, Snickers are well-known and thoroughly enjoyed. I mean, they’re not crazy good, but definitely better than most. They’ll do in a pinch.

 

Sour Patch Kids

Everyone knows that an acceptable candy supply is only as strong as its ratio of chocolate to chewy, fruity gelatin. Sour Patch Kids pack a punch with an initial sour wave followed by one of five sweet flavors including, berry, lemon, lime, orange, and raspberry. Although not as decadent as chocolate, these are among the youth’s favorite and are good for balancing the candy palate. More importantly, they can be bought in extreme bulk sizes.

 

M&Ms

Let’s face it, M&Ms are fun to eat. We like looking at the colors when we pull them out of the bag and enjoy the satisfying crunch our teeth make on their hard shells. Whether they’re peanut, pretzel, crispy, or dark, it doesn’t matter, as long as they are kept in their original colorful casings. M&Ms are a fun essential for any candy dish, and deserve a chance to be in yours.

 

C’mon, You Can Do Better

Skittles

Skittles are wanna-be M&Ms, that is if they tasted as good and delivered similar physical pleasure. Skittles, a cliche candy especially for kids, are plagued by a few core flavors that are essentially just not good tasting. ⅗ of the candy’s flavors — lemon, green apple, and orange — are exponentially less appetizing than cherry and grape, and creates a problem. Kids don’t want to have to consciously pick at their candy. Steer clear.

 

Three Musketeers

Eating one of these won’t have you wanting more, but rather asking yourself, “what did I just eat?” A mushy, colorless, tasteless interior cannot even be saved by a chocolate exterior. The absence of texture just contributes to this candy’s overall lackluster effect. For kids and adults alike, Three Musketeers does not satisfy.

 

Lollipops

This is applicable to any flavor and any brand. On Halloween, kids want to eat as much candy as possible in as little time as possible. Unable to fit into this equation, lollipops fall under the category of unsustainable finds. The five minutes that it takes even the fastest licker to finish one pales in comparison to the ten of another candy that they could have devoured in that time.

 

Seriously, Did You Even Have a Childhood?

Mounds

Where do I start. In my mind, and in the minds of pretty much every kid on earth, coconut does not even belong in the same sentence as candy. The last thing I want when I am biting into a candy bar, is to come up with a mouthful of coconut. That’s the stuff of nightmares. The good news: you’ll have a lot left over at the end of the night, if you’re into that kind of thing.

 

Bubble Gum

Does this even count as candy? Not at all. No chocolate, no caramel, no crunch, no comfort. And chances are, it’s probably sugarless. If you give out gum you’re probably either a dentist or playing a cruel joke. Re-evaluate.

 

Raisins

Don’t be that person.

 

About the Writer
Matthew Welsh, Staff writer

Matthew Welsh is a senior staff writer. When he's not writing articles, he enjoys watching sports, wrestling his brother, and playing with his dog. This is his second year on the staff.

1 Comment

One Response to “Halloween Candy: Do’s and Don’ts”

  1. Kieran Ferguson on October 31st, 2018 12:25 pm

    As a representative of the grape lovers community, we decry bigotry against lovers of dried grapes, commonly known as raisins. Raisins are a healthy snack enjoyed by people all across the globe.

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