Cookie lovers everywhere were shocked to open their packs of Thin Mints this month and taste a cookie that can only be described as repugnant. The Boys Scouts of America (BSA) apparently contaminated all cookie dough, except for that of the much beloved Aloha Chips.
The BSA say they have no idea how the liver flavoring became mixed into the cookie dough; the GSA, however, is sure they know who did it, and they want justice.
“Obviously, pocket knife sales were not making the Boy Scouts much money, and we all know how boys can’t handle girls doing better than them. Simply put, they were jealous. Our cookie sales are better than they have ever been, and now they’ve gone and messed it up,” said GSA officer Jenny-Renny Cookster.
The police are carefully investigating the matter. They have not released any information to the public, but sources say 500 gallons of liver flavoring were found at the Boy Scout headquarters/
Many loyal customers of Girl Scout cookies are now vowing never to touch a Tag-along again.
“If you can’t trust the Girl Scouts to make the best cookies in the world, what’s left to believe in? I don’t know if I can even look at another Girl Scout cookie again… too many painful memories,” said one-time Girl Scout cookie lover Janey Jane.
No one is sure why the Aloha Chups were not contaminated, but experts say it may have to do with the mixing of the nuts and liver flavoring.
“Such a mixture may have actually produced a new cookie that could have blown all other cookies out of the water. Liver and macadamia make something so ambrosia-like that cookie sales may have actually gone up,” said nut expert John Nobody. A national burning of Girl Scout cookies is expected to take place on Tuesday, April 1.