1. Sunny days

Now, you may be asking yourself, why are sunny days a lifeguard’s worst nightmare? The short answer? Lots and lots of people come to the pool to enjoy them. While yes, watching people swim is kind of in the job description, anyone on shift is hoping and praying that no one will be there every time they work. It could be a sunny Sunday afternoon and there are 120 people at the pool. At that point, I’m hot from being there all day, I am tired of the parents who don’t actually know how to parent, and I want people to leave so that I can do the trash without having to be there until 30 minutes past the end of my shift. 

Sun leads to heat. Heat leads to me sweating. Me sweating leads to me being in a mood. Me being in a mood leads to me wanting to get in the water. Me wanting to get in the water means I don’t have time to do any cleaning. Me not being able to do any cleaning makes me slack. Me being a slacker leads to a longer closing, in a bad mood, in the sun. While yes, sunny days are fun in some aspects, they also make me want to go home and rot on the couch instead of being at work.

2. Large families with even larger coolers

A tell-tale sign that a family is going to stay for a long time is if they have a cooler with them and the bigger the cooler the longer the stay. Sometimes there is a family of six that will walk through the gate three hours before closing and you know for a fact that they are eating dinner there and staying until you kick them out. What is even worse than that is when you see one parent with a kid walk in and they only have one bag. But then next thing you know, the rest of the family walks through the gate with a huge cooler and more friends. You can never get your hopes up or be too happy that no one is there because the second you say something, everything changes and a gigantic wave of people shows up.

3. Health inspectors

While it is a necessary evil in order to keep the pool open, health inspections are such a nuisance. One time the health inspector was there during a shift change where I was coming in, and the people that were there were so mad because the chlorine was 0.5 lower than it needed to be so we were temporarily shut down until we could get it up. I had three of my managers there along with the inspector, the other guard I was with, and the kids that wanted to get into the pool. When they first get there, it just gets to be so overwhelming because you’re stressing that you didn’t check something that could make or break your score, but you’re also trying to watch the pool while keeping an eye on the inspector and it’s just so annoying.

4. Dropping your whistle in the pool

I am no stranger to dropping my whistle in the pool in the middle of a kid swim. If I’m in the stand, I am twirling my whistle. I have a few different ways that I twirl it and sometimes I let it get a little out of control and it swings in the pool. Not only is it embarrassing to have patrons ask me if I just dropped my whistle in the pool, but it is also embarrassing having to ask one of the children swimming by to get it out for me. It has also happened when it is a slower day and the only kid in the pool is way on the other side so I have to get the skimmer net and fish it out myself. Then I’m also stuck with a wet whistle for the rest of the shift and it isn’t as fun to twirl anymore.

5. Having to yell at the same kids more than once

Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. But sometimes it gets to the point where it is fun to yell at the misbehaving ones because it helps with anger management. I always start off nice, but if I have to correct them over, and over, and over again about the same things it gets really annoying. At that point they don’t get Ms. Nice Lifeguard anymore. They get the lifeguard who is tired of yelling because you don’t know how to listen. There’s something so satisfying about screaming “walk” at a kid from across the pool deck and see them staring at me because they know they aren’t supposed to do it. What’s even better is when a kid is about to break the rules and I’m looking right at them. Sometimes (especially at the end of the summer),the kid will look over at me part way through doing it to see if I’m watching to know if they’ll get yelled at or not. It’s really funny to see them look over and stop when they see you staring.

6. Losing your sunglasses

I love wearing sunglasses while at work. It makes it easier to see and they’re very stylish. They even make a cute hair accessory once the sun goes down. But somehow, I always manage to lose them. I’ll forget them at home for one shift and it quickly snowballs into not having them all week and then eventually just straight up not knowing where they are. Sometimes I don’t even notice until I’m on the stand and the sun comes out from behind the clouds and I reach to my head for them but they aren’t there. 

7. Drowning

I’m 99% sure that this one is self explanatory. I’ve never actually had to save anyone from drowning, but the scare is definitely there sometimes. Our monthly training keeps me on my toes, but I hope I never have to save anyone.

I do love my job and I do recommend it to anyone I talk to about it. But there are some things that I dread. While it is the dream job to sit in the sun and talk to people all day, there are some tipping points that occasionally push me over the edge.