Here I am, sitting on my bed at 11:00 at night doing homework that I know is due at 11:59—because I, once again, procrastinated. Instead of doing my homework as any organized student would, I sat in my bed all day and watched TikToks.

When I finally got up to write this, I started to think about all the things I love to do and all the new hobbies I’ve picked up. I thought about the walks I used to go on, or how I sat in my room and made 140 bracelets in a week, or even about how I learned a new painting technique, but as I thought harder, I realized that all those things I had done were part of the “first lockdown.”

Now, I don’t really know if the “first lockdown” has an official time period, but I’d guess it was from March to about July 2020 when we all thought there was a chance of this pandemic ending any time soon. We were still worried, of course, and the stores were empty, but looking back, there are so many things I miss. 

I miss the walks I used to go on every day. It was always the same path, but it was amazing. I usually walked up to the Kroger near my house just to check and see if they had wipes or toilet paper, and when they did, oh man, that feeling was amazing. It was sunny pretty much every day, and the sky was so clear, and the feeling of walking up and down the same street was pure joy. But, with longer schedules and rainier days, I can’t do that anymore.

I also miss the motivation to do things. Back when this pandemic started, I’d say I gained a hefty amount of weight from being locked in a house with a lot of food and only leaving to go to a grocery store. I somehow got the motivation to lose that weight and more, but if you were to tell me to try and lose weight now, I’d probably laugh in your face. I also had the motivation to do my homework and to keep my grades up because I was only attending one or two classes a day, but now that I have all my classes back and each one is 90 minutes, I simply just don’t want to do it. 

The one thing I miss the most, however, is the TikTok trends. I miss waking up in the morning and finding out what type of smoothie bowl I was going to make or trying out the new whipped coffee drink people apparently liked. I enjoyed seeing people dance to the same songs over and over again because I felt like we were all together in this positive summer vibe of 2020 even if there was a pandemic. And while we’re still coming up with new recipes and new dances, it just doesn’t feel the same.

 It’s like that saying that you never know what you have until it’s gone. Who would’ve thought anyone could be nostalgic for a period in time like this? Honestly, I never thought I’d say I’d miss a lockdown, but here we are.