Chamblee Fails to “Spark Joy,” Marie Kondo Says
Celebrity organizing consultant Marie Kondo has set foot in the halls of Chamblee Charter High School while filming for season two of her hit Netflix series, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.
“We’re very lucky to have Marie visit our school,” said principal Jenny Greene. “Chamblee can learn a thing or two about tidying up from her.”
Kondo, whose show consists of bringing organization into people’s lives, has a simple philosophy; if something does not spark joy, throw it away. After numerous complaints from parents and teachers about the school’s “negative energy” left over from former principals’ reigns, Chamblee personnel are hoping that Kondo’s methodology will restore it to its previous glory.
“We planned the filming on Monday, March 18,” said executive producer Gail Berman. “That’s when Chamblee will finally have a chance to spark a little joy of its own.”
Yet according to front desk attendants, when she entered the building that Monday, Kondo’s feisty personality and cheerful smile vanished.
“I was in the attendance office line when it happened,” said parent Deborah Mclloyd. “She immediately froze and looked at us in disbelief.”
Social studies teacher Theresa Abernathy, who was picking up her mail when the incident happened, remembered Kondo’s reaction being one of anger.
“We were all standing there, and then she started shaking with pure rage,” said Abernathy. “Tears were streaming down her face, too. I remember thinking, ‘That’s it, guys. Chamblee broke Marie Kondo.’”
Shortly afterwards, Kondo and her filming crew tried to make their way into Chamblee’s hallways, but according to witnesses, Kondo could not so much as further venture into the building.
“Marie Kondo is probably the most powerful person ever,” said witness to the scene and freshman Gurveer Pritchard. “For her to not even be able to step foot in our hallways for more than a few seconds means that Chamblee isn’t salvageable.”
When leaving the school, Kondo could not do anything but shake her head and repeat the following words under her breath.
“Throw the whole damn [sic] school away,” Kondo said.
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Iris Tsouris is a senior and editor-in-chief of the Blue & Gold. Outside of the paper, you can find her giving out haircuts, designing T-shirts, and sampling fruit at the Buford Highway Farmers Market. In five years, she hopes to be caring for a herd of cattle while making art in an obscure Swiss village. This is her third year on the staff.
