Soccer is a sport played around the world by more than 250 million people bringing people from a variety of different backgrounds onto one playing field. For those who have not played soccer, simply put, it is a game where two teams of 11 run around a field trying to kick a ball into the opponent’s goal. These 11 players are normally grouped into six positions. I have played soccer for over two-thirds of my life, and throughout my soccer experience I have learned that the position you play says a lot about you.
Goalkeeper
The goalkeeper is the last line of defense, and the only player that can use their hands on the field. You sit in your 18 x 44 yard box waiting to touch the ball fewer than 20 times a game (hopefully), and tend to be the slowest person on your team. Besides the ability to kick long balls, you need to have cat-like reflexes and a willingness to get kicked in the face over and over and over again. You are the end all be all, making you Mr. Reliable, but one mistake and your entire team hates you. Essentially, goalkeepers are equivalent to air conditioners — no one notices you unless you are crap.
Center Backs
Center backs are a crucial part of a soccer team’s defense. Without you, there would be an open lane straight to your goal. This means that you are someone that the players and coach(es) trust to protect your goal. Playing this position means you are quite… unique ranging from the impenetrable Virgil van Dijk-like defenders that easily defend every striker, to the Harry Maguires of the world — who would not just get out of the way of incoming attackers, but score for them too. However, if you play center back, people tend to keep their distance. It’s not them. It’s you.
Wing-backs or Fullbacks
Wing-backs or fullbacks consist of two defenders: one on the left and one on the right. Which side you play says a lot about you. Now, if you are a left back you are either the only left-footed player on the team or the worst player on the team. Coaches will stick you on the pitch to make your parents proud, at least until the right winger runs past you 10 to 15 times. On the other hand, as a right back you’re not only a solid defender but crucial in the build up to score a goal. I have witnessed right backs score incredible goals from half field while their counterparts are picking grass.
Midfielders
Midfielders, you are the powerhouse of the soccer team. Like the mitochondria, you are always working hard, but the output is relative to how out of or in shape you are. Midfielders are a key component in moving the ball from the defensive end to a scoring position. This means you either make incredible passes or do not pass at all. If you are a midfielder, it is safe to say that you probably watch player highlights for fun, but you will never be Messi — only in your dreams.
Wingers
Wingers like the fullbacks are on opposite sides of the field: one on the left and one on the right. While you right wingers can barely kick a ball 10 yards with your left foot, you left wingers can play pretty well with both feet. However, neither of you will be of any help until you put on your seemingly endless supply of new cleats, and perfect your weekly trimmed hair. I’ll admit that you guys for the most part are fast and skilled at dribbling, but it really is a shame that you always lose the ball trying to dribble past five defenders.
Strikers
“Pass!” If you are a striker, that word must confuse you. Because no matter how many times you hear it or however many not so nice words are paired with it, you never pass. Your whole purpose is to score goals, and put pressure on the defense when they have the ball at their feet. Yes, you can shoot. Yes, you can use your body well, but that does not make you any less annoying on the field. Also, somehow you always manage to bring up how many goals you have scored (not that you are the closest person to the goal or anything…).
Benchwarmers (in denial)
Benchwarmers: the ones with the greatest ball knowledge but the least ball skill. This is probably because your soccer career consists of talking to the coach and carrying the ball bag. You know your coach’s life like the back of your hand: what they had for dinner last night, where they live, and the last time they talked to their mother-in law or ex. Your ability to control a soccer ball is about equivalent to a legless elephant which is why you rarely ever play, but at least you are on the team!
Final Thoughts
Overall, soccer is a game that connects all sorts of people together. In 90 minutes, the blood, sweat, and heart poured into every moment is what makes the game so fun. That is why I play soccer, and I am sure you have your reasons, too. At the end of the day, rain or shine, there are only 22 people on that soccer pitch, and let’s face it, there’s no place better.
P.S. If you hate what I said about your position you are probably either the benchwarmer in denial or the left back. (I am a goalkeeper.)
