Almost everyone has secrets — especially high schoolers. Among teenagers and adults alike, gossip can spread quickly, and secrets can easily be let out, which may influence students to have strong opinions about what kinds of things they keep to themselves.

Many young people keep secrets about things they believe could lead to negative repercussions with family, friends, and future opportunities. These secrets can range from something as severe as illegal actions to relatively minor things, like embarrassing interests. 

“[Some people] feel that there are secrets you could get in trouble for, especially with [their] parents,” said Lia Tran (‘27). “They obviously don’t want to get in trouble, and they don’t want people to know and spread it around.”

While honesty is often seen as an aspirational trait, some students believe that being an honest person does not mean that one must share everything with others, and being too open might lead to social fallout.

“I think it’s good to have some things you keep to yourself, like a private life,” said Annabelle Shim (‘26). “I don’t think our entire lives need to be broadcast for everyone.”

Additionally, there are a few very private topics that some believe should not be shared. The term “TMI,” standing for “too much information” is a piece of internet slang frequently used in response to others sharing extremely personal and often unwanted information.

“I think secrets are important because if you’re all out there, it’s [emotionally] draining,” said Blue Allmon (‘27). “There are just some things I don’t want to know about you, so keep it to yourself.”

Additionally, some people believe that having discretion about what to share, about oneself and others, is a desirable trait in a friend.

“[Keeping secrets] builds your trust with the person you’re holding the secret for,” said Tran. “Obviously, some secrets can ruin your reputation, and you don’t want that for someone you really like.”

While being known as someone who cannot keep a secret is generally seen as a bad thing, many people admit that they sometimes tell secrets that they are not supposed to. 

“I think that [people who cannot keep secrets] are kind of annoying if they’re purposely telling [other people’s secrets], but also I understand if you accidentally let it slip out because that’s what I do sometimes,” said Emersen Mansfield (‘27). “Sometimes people can’t help it.”

Like Mansfield, many people are still understanding when their friends let small secrets slip. Boyce Hunt (‘29) recounts a time when he forgave a friend for spilling his secret.

“I told one of my friends [a secret], and it spread around,” said Hunt. “It was a bit embarrassing. I lost a little bit of trust in [my friend], but I still thought of them as a friend.”

Furthermore, some students believe that telling secrets about a situation that is no longer relevant or about unrelated third parties can be permissible in some circumstances.

“If a friend told me something insane that happened five years ago… then that’s one thing,” said Shim. “But if [the situation] is actively happening, I’m not saying anything.”

While keeping secrets is often seen as necessary to be a trustworthy friend, it can be a double-edged sword; sometimes students must find a balance between being someone their friends can confide in and keeping their peers safe, which can be confusing and drama-inducing.

“Knowing what’s okay to share and what’s not is definitely an important skill to have,” said Shim. “If someone had thoughts of hurting themselves or others… or if they did something massively illegal, then I would tell my parents or [another adult].”

Secrets can often also create irreparable fault lines in one’s relationships. Sparing a loved one’s feelings can sometimes cause more harm than good, and many people believe that it is best to face these tensions head-on rather than letting them go unaddressed. 

“If your friend is [annoying you,] then you have to tell them that,” said Allmon. “You can’t hold that in because it’s going to make you resentful [towards them].”

At the end of the day, the question of whether to keep or tell a secret may not have a clear-cut answer; every situation brings a different set of circumstances and nuance to the table that are determining factors in the decision. Many believe that the decision to tell a secret or not should hinge on what is best to keep all parties involved safe and happy.

“I think [telling secrets] can be good and bad,” said Mansfield. “It depends on the motive.”